Dear Anonymous,

Last week I received a letter. On the surface it looks like a compliment, but deep down I wonder if this person (and I'm pretty sure he/she did) had a mean spirit when writing this letter. The letter is anonymous, which only adds to my suspicions since this person did not have the guts to "compliment" me to my face.

A little background info. is required before you read this letter... I am a youth minister at my conservative southern baptist church. I, of course, am far from conservative southern baptist. As far as my beliefs go, I'm really not a hardcore baptist at all. The most important thing in understanding this letter, though, is that I don't really dress up for church all that much. Part of it is that I simply don't have a lot of nice clothes. I just got out of college and got married, so I'm not going to go spend tons of money on clothes. Another part of it is that I don't think it's all that necessary to dress really nice at church. We're there to worship and meet together - not impress each other with our wardrobe (or so I thought). The thing is - I have about three pair of nice pants, some of which don't fit right. So, often times, I will resort to cargo pants. When I wear my cargo pants, I generally don't tuck shirts in out of choice of style. Anywho, we have a lot of elderly at our church, which I love. Most of them are kind, sweet, giving, loving, supportive, complimentary, Christ-like people. But there are a few who make all elderly look bad. They think that church has to be done their way, like when they were kids. When something changes they absolutely make a huge fuss. That's enough background.

Since this person wasn't so kind as to give their name, I will write a response to them. Hopefully, they might come across it and realize that their letter may not have been so helpful. If not, oh well.

Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your compliment. There are a few things, though, that are troublesome about this letter. As a brother or sister in Christ, I'm not sure that you're catching the point of why we have church. Here's why I think so:

1) You say that "we are so quick to criticize our young people." In other words, I think you mean - "Yes, I have judged you." Why have you judged me? From the context of your letter it seems that you have judged me because I am young, and I don't tuck my shirts in sometimes. Since I know you have judged and criticized me, I really don't want to know what you have thought. Is it really bad? Have you thought of me as less of a person for the above reasons? I hope this isn't true.

2) You say that "we" have criticized. I assume you are referring to the elderly in our church. By this, do you mean that all elderly in our church criticize young people? I hope not. If that's true, I want to leave: Now. Please don't make such generalizations because it's scary to me. Just be honest and say that "I" have criticized young people.

3) "They will follow you in more ways than you can think." Are you honestly saying that my kids will follow me based on the fact that I have my shirt tucked in? My goal is to teach them to follow Jesus, not necessarily teach them how to dress. If you want me to teach them how to be ultra-conservative baptists and good dressers, then I am not your man. You should get me fired right now because I am failing miserably. I am very confused by this statement. I don't see how it applies to my job at all.

I have a hard time believing that this letter is a sincere compliment. If you really have an issue with the way I dress, just come talk to me face to face. I will be happy to discuss it with you. When I was hired, they gave me no guidelines on how to dress with one exception: no flip-flops on Sunday morning. I have never broken the flip-flop rule. Again, if you honestly believe that the way we (young people) dress at church is telling of our relationship with Christ, you are sadly missing the point of church, my friend. This letter, though I'm sure you meant otherwise, was hardly a compliment. It was more disheartening than anything. Why can't we just be a family? Why is our dress so important? I hope this response was helpful.

In Christ,
Marc

P.S.
Please don't send anymore anonymous letters. Just come talk to me.

My response is over now. If I am way out of line here, somebody send a comment my way. I really want to know what everybody out there thinks... Much love.